There is a certain breed of camper who deserves not a tent, not a cabin, but a permanent campsite in the Ninth Circle of Hell: the late-night check-in crowd. You’ve heard them, you’ve cursed them, you’ve fantasized about zip-tying their cooler shut. They roll in at ungodly hours, headlights blazing like alien abductions, car doors slamming like gunfire, and voices carrying across the campground as if auditioning for a Broadway musical called The Inconsiderates. Here’s the tragicomic part: they’re always woefully unprepared. No batteries in their flashlight? Of course. Tent poles missing? Naturally. Screaming kids in tow because who doesn’t love a midnight meltdown symphony? Predictable. They bumble through the gravel, shrieking about lost mallets, while the rest of us lay in our thin nylon coffins wondering if this is how wars start. And the gall—the gall! These backward-minded buffoons act like they’ve just discovered camping, when in reality they’ve just discovered how selfishness ec...